Oh, The Calamity!
by bite-me-im-irish
Summary: She was wearing a long red dress that smoothed over all her curves. It was clinched in at the waist with a sparkly jewel and had a deep-v neckline that showed off her cleavage, not that the Doctor was looking at her cleavage, of course not. Cough. 10/Rose


**I don't even write for Doctor Who anymore but I found a few one-shots tucked away in a folder so here they are! I do have some multi-chapter stories about 10/Rose if you want to go take a gander.**

**I do not own Doctor Who, but if I did, River Song would be like Jack so that I'd be able to watch her die over and over and over again.**

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"So, Rose Tyler, where do you wanna go? I was thinking somewhere relaxing; don't think I can take anymore 'running for our lives' drama for a while, even with my superior Time Lord genetics. We never go anywhere relaxing! Except when we went to that vineyard in Oregon, now that was time well spent! Even if the grape pickers were Beauvians! Remember those tentacles? How many were there, 19? All the better for picking with, I suppose. But how do they decide which one to use? I mean surely it would be hard to decide! Which reminds me! I need to take you to this planet called Harrosia! The Harrosie only have one giant arm sticking out of their chest but on each of their fingers they have an even littler arm and on each of those arms there are more arms! It's brilliant! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Places to go, places to go, places to go... Oooh, I know! We could go to the beach – I love the beach, me. Except when sand gets stuck in my socks! Now _that_ is irritating. Did you know out of all the planets in the Universe, Earth is the only planet not to develop anti-stick sand? Honestly. It's a fact, humans never figure that out! Useless apes, the lot of you! You manage to develop the technology shoot down full blown Sycorax ships but you can't invent a way to make sand un-sticky! Is that a word? Un-sticky? Un-sticky, stickless, desticky? Oh I don't know. I hate seaweed too! Remind me never to take you to Evivlayay. The entire planet is made out of seaweed and believe me that smell is impossible to get rid of! So actually, on second thoughts... maybe not the beach. Oh! I know! How about the first anti-gravity basketball match? I've _always_ wanted to go to that! Last time I tried to go I got an alarm bell on the TARDIS to go the Earth because of a living plastic creature and well, we all know what happens then! What do you think? You've been very quiet!" The Doctor looked up from the console to see a vacated room. "Rose?"

He swivelled around but she was nowhere to be seen. _And I'm rude! _He thought sitting down on the Captains chair and awaiting her return along with an explanation. She returned five minutes later and all thoughts of sand and basketball were wiped from the Doctor's mind. She was wearing a long red dress that smoothed over all her curves. It was clinched in at the waist with a sparkly jewel and had a deep-v neckline that showed off her cleavage, not that the Doctor was looking at her cleavage, of course not. _Cough. _Her hair was pulled back with a few straggly bits framing her face and drawing attention to her smoky eyes.

"What do you think?" she asked innocently, twirling around, enjoying the satin against her skin. "Too much?"

"You look, well, you you look... Too much, not not... I just wasn't... wow... eh... just…" The Doctor struggled to form a coherent sentence as Rose continued to sway in her dress. He coughed, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away from her clea- dress, from her dress _not_ her cleavage. "Blimey Rose. You look, well, magnificent. I mean pretty, very pretty." Rose beamed at him.

"You think?" she asked, poking her tongue out from between her teeth. She knew he liked it when she did that.

"Oh I do! But why? You don't normally go to this much trouble!" Rose cocked an eyebrow, "Not that you don't look good all the time! You always look nice but never this se- nice! I mean...Oh jeez, you look lovely, okay?" Rose laughed and patted him softly on the head.

"Thank you, Doctor. It's very nice of you to say so." The Doctor smiled; glad to be in the clear. He was only digging a hole for himself. "I thought we could go see an opera? I've always wanted to see Pavarotti or somethin'."

"That's a great idea!" Grinned the Doctor, "And it would explain the lovely attire! I'll go change, won't be a tick" Rose smiled softly to herself as the Doctor sprinted out of the room. She ran her hand along the console, grinning at the metal humming noises it made. She used to wonder why the Doctor liked talking to the TARDIS but ever since the Game station, she understood. It was as if the TARDIS understood her, needed her, and loved her. She only wished the same was true for the Doctor.

The Doctor returned not minutes later dressed in a black and grey striped suit, he had a red hanky in his breast pocket that matched her dress. He sauntered over to her grinning like a loon.

"What do you think?" he asked, ruffling his hair with a smug grin.

"Not too bad, you know, considering..." she teased as she fixed his crooked tie. She fixed his collar and her hands lingered a little too long on his lapels, smoothing them down, trying to rid them of the non-existent creases.

"Considering what?" he said, feigning offence when really he trying to keep himself from shivering as she fingered his lapels.

"That you're an alien!" The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"You know, technically, you're an alien too?" Rose cocked an eyebrow again and the Doctor quickly covered for himself, "I mean, a very pretty, non-apish human!"

"Right, thanks, I think. Anyway... to the opera?" She asked, a little breathless as her nose was only centimetres from his. She could feel his cool breath on her skin and it took all her strength not to jump him right there.

"Hmmm? Oh yes! Quite right," he said, breaking away from their too-close-for-friends stance and pulling out his glasses, "Which one do you want to go to? I'm at most of the good ones already so we better go to a futuristic one? But you said Pavorotti... so how about 1969? Are we anywhere in 1969 yet? No, I don't think so, we ended up in 1869 instead... is 1969 hunky-dorey with you?" he glanced up at Rose from the monitor. She nodded, still slightly dazed from their close contact. _How can he have such an effect on me? _She wondered as he grinned manically, pulling levers and flicking switches as he raced around the console. With a final flick of a yellow switch he took her hand and the TARDIS shook with force as they flew though the vortex.

They laughed as they landed with a violent jolt. Rose stumbled slightly with her heels on but the Doctor caught her around the middle, once more bringing them nose to nose.

"Alright?" he breathed, his breath ghosting over her lips. She unconsciously licked her own and the Doctor's eyes followed her tongue as it darted across the soft pink flesh. He gulped when he noticed her eyes on his lips too. _Just one inch _the Doctor thought _that's all it would take to kiss her. Just one inch._ He tilted his head slowly and Rose's eyelids drooped.

But just as their lips were about to touch the Doctor pulled away. Rose stumbled for a moment and then glared at him.

"Pavorotti?" he asked, holding out an arm and gesturing towards the door. After a moment Rose composed herself and painted a smile on her face. _If that's how he wants to play it, then so be it._

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The Doctor continued to stare up at the billboard as Rose shook her head beside him. Eventually he cast his gaze unto her, an apologetic look upon his face.

"Okay so maybe I got the flight a little wrong..." he admitted.

"A little?"

"1969, 2069... same difference really! I mean what's a hundred years, really? Nothing major has been discovered! Except the cure for the common cold! Salt and strawberries, who knew?"

"Doctor."

"Sorry."

Rose shook her head again but couldn't keep the smile off her face. She glanced up at the board again and noted that Calamity Jane was about to start. The Doctor followed her gaze and grinned. "Brilliant! I love Calamity Jane! I should take you back to the meet the real one! Cheeky lady! Drank too much, that was her problem! Also a little insane... Did you know that Bill actually hated her? They weren't friends at all! Calamity just convinced herself that he loved her. Though who could blame her, all rugged and dangerous!" Rose burst out laughing and the Doctor frowned, "What?"

"Rugged and dangerous?" She giggled.

"What's wrong with that?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I hope that wasn't you trying to tell me you're gay! I mean I'm cool with that and all but I wish you could have let me know before now!" The Doctor's jaw dropped and he spluttered a random chain of words at her trying to take back his words. Rose shook her head and made her way over to the ticket machine. Blushing crimson the Doctor followed her over to the machine.

"So, Dame Rose," he said brandishing the psychic paper, "Who do want to be, the Queen of Egypt or the Leader of the Free World?"

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**Technically, it's unfinished but it could work as a short snippet of fluff. **

**Drop a review and I may upload any others I deem uploadable. :)**

**-K**


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